• Feeling Resentful

  After constantly putting others first, you start to feel burnt out or resentful. You may feel like you're doing everything for everyone else, but no one is there when you need help or support. Feeling that others are to blame for this self-neglect will only keep you trapped in this cycle as you continue to do for them instead of working on the root cause in yourself.

• You're tired. REALLY, really, tired.

  More than a usual tired, this is a weariness that comes from self-neglect. If there is no physical cause for this and you've ruled out medical conditions, depression and exhaustion may show up as your body and mind's way of telling you they're ready to be prioritized and they're tired of using their limited energy for everyone else. YOU matter too.

  
  

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• Prioritizing Others Over Yourself

  You often neglect your own needs or desires in favor of helping others, even when it’s at your own expense. You might find it hard to take care of yourself, physically or emotionally, because you’re always focused on others. Feeling like there isn't enough time to take care of yourself and everyone else will cause you to feel like you have to choose. You do.

• You try to predict what someone's reaction will be and it's often negative

  "She's going to think I'm selfish if I don't show up!" instead of "She'll understand that I am taking care of myself so I can continue showing up as a healthy version of myself in this friendship."

• Having a Hard Time Making Decisions

  You might struggle to make decisions without input from others, because you fear making the “wrong” choice or upsetting someone. You often look to others for direction and reassurance before committing to any decisions. In an effort to make decisions that don't rattle anyone else, you lose touch with what's really important for yourself.

You can adjust these mindsets by learning about how and why they were formed, being kind and gentle with yourself as you learn more about the root causes, and replacing behaviors with self-honoring ones while learning new ways to tolerate the distress of other's reactions.

For more support, consider enroll in group therapy to practice these skills: NICE girls